Why Most Science Is Dog Shit!


Ouch! I can hear the “white coats” screaming at me and smashing their bunson burners all over the lab in disgust.

It seems that every time I scroll through a social media feed lately there is a new “ground breaking” study that proves that what we previously thought was all a damn lie! The problem is we have been conditioned over time to accept the word of any dickhead in a white lab coat! What is not very well-known or, talked about, is where these cheese dicks get their funding to conduct such studies.

When you are the CEO of a multi billion dollar company that is witnessing a decline in sales, what better way to improve public perception of your horse shit product than to fund a study that WILL show the product actually contains traces of magical compounds from the surface of mars that will allow you to live until you are 208 years of age! But don’t fear, lucky the esteemed science world have “Morales” and agree to “prove” the study in favor of industry if they are allowed to then receive more funding in the future to conduct actual “science” studies that will improve humans!

Don’t even get me started on the roll Government play in ensuring “junk” science is produced and circulated to improve political standing. I am not stupid, and understand that these labs need funding to operate, and yes, there have been some great discoveries from our white coat friends, unfortunately, the amount of “breakthroughs” pales in comparison compared to the latest study that indicates it may be beneficial for expecting mothers to consume alcohol during pregnancy! Come on man, really?

Anyway, my point is common sense far outweighs the findings of most cutting edge research. I don’t give a fuck how many studies tell me being addicted to heroin is good for me, if my gut tells me its rubbish that is good enough for me to ignore the shit out of it. It would be a very wise approach to take “most” science with a grain of salt, they seem to have a knack for complicating the absolute shit out of the most simplistic subject matter, but I guess at the end of the day if people don’t understand it they just accept what is being said by the “guru” right?

My advice would be to laugh at most of it, and ignore the rest, let’s be honest, the human race has survived and adapted fairly well over the journey! Sure, life expectancy over time has certainly increased, however our living conditions have also been improved dramatically! I can sit in a climate controlled dwelling with immediate access to food and water, and not live in fear that a T-Rex will smash through the window and devour me!

That’s my take on the current state of affairs for what it is worth? Of course if you want to chase your tail for the next decade feel free listen to the studies, if you would prefer to actually make progress employ common sense on a daily basis.

Ash Yates