Why Most Science Is Dog Shit!


Ouch! I can hear the “white coats” screaming at me and smashing their bunson burners all over the lab in disgust.

It seems that every time I scroll through a social media feed lately there is a new “ground breaking” study that proves that what we previously thought was all a damn lie! The problem is we have been conditioned over time to accept the word of any dickhead in a white lab coat! What is not very well-known or, talked about, is where these cheese dicks get their funding to conduct such studies.

When you are the CEO of a multi billion dollar company that is witnessing a decline in sales, what better way to improve public perception of your horse shit product than to fund a study that WILL show the product actually contains traces of magical compounds from the surface of mars that will allow you to live until you are 208 years of age! But don’t fear, lucky the esteemed science world have “Morales” and agree to “prove” the study in favor of industry if they are allowed to then receive more funding in the future to conduct actual “science” studies that will improve humans!

Don’t even get me started on the roll Government play in ensuring “junk” science is produced and circulated to improve political standing. I am not stupid, and understand that these labs need funding to operate, and yes, there have been some great discoveries from our white coat friends, unfortunately, the amount of “breakthroughs” pales in comparison compared to the latest study that indicates it may be beneficial for expecting mothers to consume alcohol during pregnancy! Come on man, really?

Anyway, my point is common sense far outweighs the findings of most cutting edge research. I don’t give a fuck how many studies tell me being addicted to heroin is good for me, if my gut tells me its rubbish that is good enough for me to ignore the shit out of it. It would be a very wise approach to take “most” science with a grain of salt, they seem to have a knack for complicating the absolute shit out of the most simplistic subject matter, but I guess at the end of the day if people don’t understand it they just accept what is being said by the “guru” right?

My advice would be to laugh at most of it, and ignore the rest, let’s be honest, the human race has survived and adapted fairly well over the journey! Sure, life expectancy over time has certainly increased, however our living conditions have also been improved dramatically! I can sit in a climate controlled dwelling with immediate access to food and water, and not live in fear that a T-Rex will smash through the window and devour me!

That’s my take on the current state of affairs for what it is worth? Of course if you want to chase your tail for the next decade feel free listen to the studies, if you would prefer to actually make progress employ common sense on a daily basis.

Ash Yates

Blood – Is It Trying To Tell Us Something?


What is it that makes us unique? Why do we see people undertake the same nutrition/exercise protocols but see vastly different results?

I would easily read anywhere from 10-20 books per year pertaining to health and fitness. One in particular, I first read about a decade ago would eventually end up blowing my fucking mind just recently. The book I refer too is called “Eat Right For Your Blood Type” by Dr Peter J. D’Adamo.

Without reciting the entire fucking thing, his point is food has different interactions with  different blood types having either positive or negative effects on the bodies overall ability to function properly. He goes on to explain how the blood types have adapted through the evolution of the human race and is of the belief that our blood holds the “master-key” when it comes to optimizing human health.

For example, blood type O is the oldest, and thrived in the paleolithic times when man was a hunter gather and a well adapted meat-eater. So, it is recommended that those with blood type O consume lean meats (organic) and vegetables, makes sense right? Type A, made an appearance in the neolithic period where man moved into a more structured way of living with farming practices that saw us start to cultivate our own food (grains, crops ect) instead of chasing it down. His recommendation is type A benefits from a vegetarian diet, as the type A doesn’t posses the amount of stomach acid (in fact 3 times less) that the type O does, so they are ill-equipped to break down meat as efficiently.

Enter my “fucking hell” moment! Whilst on a long haul flight I made the decision to commit to a vegan diet (may have had too many red wines?) for a period of time to see what all the fuss was about.

I want to point out that I am type A. Over the next 2-3 months I went from 93kg down to 84kg, for the past 11 years I had struggled to get below 90kg regardless of upping the training load and intensity. I had more energy and was sleeping better than ever before. The weird thing was I was training less than previous years (due to hectic life schedule) but the fat just kept melting off my frame? At my regular 3 monthly health check my GP was concerned that I may have some kind of underlying health issue due to the rapid weight-loss I had experienced. He had me shitting bricks thinking there was something wrong, until my blood work and all other tests came back the best they had been in years!

Thinking back to the book I had read 10 years earlier but refused to acknowledge because there was no way in fuck I was going to become a vegetarian to improve my health. My opinion has certainly changed after seeing how my body has reacted. What an absolute dick head I was for not having a crack at it a decade earlier! I guess it’s better late than never hey?

Eat right for your blood type has been great for me, and after re-reading it last month It makes a hell of a lot of sense. If you are struggling it may help you so, might be well worth a read?

Maybe it doesn’t work as well for you, who the fuck knows? But this I do know for damn sure, IF YOU CONTINUE TO DO THE SAME THING YOU HAVE BEEN DOING, YOU WILL CONTINUE TO GET THE SAME RESULTS YOU HAVE BEEN GETTING!

As a side note I have absolutely no allegiance too, or vested interest in anything to do with this book or the Author! This is clearly a reflection of my experiences using his methods.

Ash Yates

Nutrition Label Nightmare


Ever had anyone shove a packet in your face and ask “is this good for me?”. People standing in the supermarket isle fixated on the “nutrition” label has become a regular site in the past 5-10 years.

It’s great that people are genuinely concerned about what it is they are putting in their bodies, but in my opinion it is the biggest hoax of our lifetime! For a start you will never actually know what the fuck is in it anyway? There is something like 20-30 (don’t quote me) different compound names for sugar alone! If you take a step back and take a look at the big picture, the ONLY “food” that has a nutrition label on it ISN’T ACTUALLY FUCKING FOOD!

Last time I went to buy a bunch of bananas I don’t recall seeing a label on it? The last time I was at the organic butcher buying meat for the family I don’t recall seeing a label on it? You get the picture.

REAL food, the shit we are designed to eat, will never have a fucking label on it because it has NOT been altered by scumbags in a lab trying to kill us!

At the request of the powerful food industry those nerdy little food scientist fucks have been formulating all sorts of harmful compounds over the years to add to fake food to try to make it more palatable for human consumption!

When an item is shoved in my face to analyse its nutritional make up it is always followed by “Ash, is this good for me?”. My response is “compared to what?”, if you are comparing that packet of bite sized poison to eating a bit of your lounge room carpet well, then yeah, it probably is slightly better for you! If you are comparing it to an apple and a hand full of nuts and seeds well then FUCK NO it is not good for you!

Simply put, the best way to read a food label is to pick it up off the shelf, adopt a stance similar to that of a baseball pitcher, and proceed to throw that mother fucker as far as you possibly can! Trust me, you do not need that shit in your life.

If all you do is follow the very basic rule of only eat foods that don’t have a “food” label on it you are well on your way to better health. Be very skeptical of anyone trying to explain the label to you because clearly their brain has already been turned to a pile of  steaming hot shit from big industry propaganda.

Now, I am very aware that a lot of our “fresh” food is tainted by the use of commercial chemicals like pesticides/herbicides on fruits and vegetables and hormones and antibiotics in our meat. This is a real concern that needs to be addressed no doubt! But, compared to the toxic junk these fuckers are putting in fake food I am convinced that the “fresh” option is by far the lesser of two evils!

Of course, to avoid all of these problems the ideal approach is to shop organic where possible to avoid all chemicals, but I am a realist and understand that it can end up being more expensive going this route than the commercial alternatives.

Do what you can, where you can for your circumstances, and remember if a “good” option doesn’t exist at the time you are looking for something to eat well then don’t be scared to hold out until you find a better option! Its OK, the body can go a few hours without food, waiting a little bit longer, for something a little bet better, will serve you and your health very well.

Ash Yates

My 4,420 Week Program!


Shit, after reading that title I am going to be pushing shit up hill selling this one to the masses.

The statistics tell us that the modern 8/12 week junk programs have a whopping 99% long-term failure rate! Why this is so surprising to everyone stuns the fuck out of me? The mere notion of something having an end date is ultimately going to fail!

These fitness thieves that are stealing people’s money and hopes pushing short-term garbage shits me to tears. I can see why people get sucked in though, the promise of a life change in just 2 months is enticing for anyone, let alone someone who has self-esteem and motivation issues.

Sure, going from basically nothing, to doing something for a few weeks will reap some sort of result, the problem is the accompanying “food plans” are usually generic as fuck, highly restrictive, and honestly as boring as the personality selling it. Of course, post program this cannot be maintained, and you will slip straight back into the previous bad habits. No matter how disciplined or bad ass you think you are, no one can live such a suffocating existence without cracking at some point!

Enter my ground breaking 4,420 week program. It’s only 85 years of doing something everyday, FUCK ALL TO IT! Health, fitness, and wellness should never have an “end date” approach. It takes an effort EVERY SINGLE DAY of your life to gain or maintain health. I know right, how fucking boring and un-sexy is that shit!

However, don’t mistake this for not having short-term goals. Saying you will get to where you want to be in 85 years is fucking depressing and unappealing as shit! Have short-term goals, once you hit it set a new one and keep rolling. It is a case of continuously moving the goal posts, our brain is better designed to focus on, and want the short-term reward. Then, eventually you look back after years of chasing short term goals and surprise surprise they have manifested into long-term success!

Is it going to be a roller-coaster ride of up’s, downs and loopy loops? Abso-fucking-lutley! Anyone who says they are going to stay staunch and not veer off the path is a complete and utter fucking liar! The key is to limit the amount of time you are off track to avoid any real “damage”. I have a rule that 3 days is the maximum I go without doing anything, no matter how I feel on that 4th day I have to do something otherwise I just keep delaying and delaying, and those 3 days quickly turn into 3 weeks!

CrossFit has exploded on a global scale in recent times and I believe that has a lot to do with its daily approach to training. The daily workout has its participants moving a hell of a lot more than other training systems, but I think the secret sauce for them is the “community” they foster, it holds people accountable to others! The barrage of text messages an individual is sent from fellow CrossFitters for skipping a class ensures you don’t do it too often.

Results are merely a manifestation of consistency, so show up day in and day out for the next 40, 50, 60, 70 plus years and tell me you didn’t get results!

Ash Yates

Stop The Diet Madness!


The mere mention of the word “diet” sends me into a state of cold sweats and dizzy spells!

I don’t think there is a book, journal, white paper or YouTube clip out there that I haven’t read or seen regarding the latest nutrition hack.  Besides that, I try to implement their key components for a period of time to validate their claims.

My finely tuned bullshit radar usually picks up on the Authors or Influence’s angle pretty quick, it often presents itself in the form of some sort of radical claim that this or that will have you looking like a Victoria’s secret supermodel, or, WWE muscle-bound freak in no time.

98% of what I have come across is nothing more than very well constructed marketing and PR campaigns that judge the success of their work on sales, not consumers results! If I were that way inclined, I’m sure it wouldn’t be hard to pay off someone “credible” (I use that term super loosely) to endorse my cutting edge diet that involves collecting your neighbors dog shit , drying it for 7 days, crushing it into a fine powder than shoving it up your ass – and turning that into the buzz diet of 2018!

In a world where we demand everything to be backed by science or celebrities, we have lost the most important factor of all, COMMON FUCKING SENSE. Like, does it seem like a good idea for your health to eat 3 servings of pizza/day washed done with a six-pack of beer? Of course not (although maybe one day might be fun)! Does it sound like a better option to include fresh fruits, vegetables and lean protein sources with each meal? mmmm maybe?

Simplifying the shit out of it is going to get way closer to where you want to be rather than scouring science journals (leave that to me) looking for that one molecule that will change your DNA to replicate Brad Pitt’s or Julia Roberts (showing my age there).

Yeah yeah, I know that not all food’s react equally with everyone. So that is where trial and error comes into the picture, you test and adjust according to how you feel after eating certain foods. We no longer have to play Russian roulette on random berries or random shit on the ground like our early friends living in caves had too. So if you don’t have any allergies try different shit.

For me personally, I have played around for years trialing different foods and approaches, and I have found that the Vegetarian way of life offers my body and lifestyle the best results. Does that mean everyone should be a vegetarian? FUCK NO! My physiology and digestive track just seems to thrive on that, I have seen very fit and healthy dudes eat half a fucking cow per day and are absolute machines with perfect blood work and health markers.

Bloating, sluggishness and excess gas can all be signs that what you just ate probably isn’t perfect for you. Don’t be afraid to play around with different foods and methodologies, because trust me, as a meat eater my whole life, the last thing I saw coming was me converting to vegetarianism! But, I was willing to go through experimentation and elimination to find what my body enjoyed and thrived on. Make no mistake though, were I to find at some point this no longer affords me the resluts I am looking for I will go back to meat in an instant. Don’t ever just keep eating a certain way because your family or friends do if it is not allowing you to function at your highest capacity.

The diet zelots out there will push their agenda on you to make themselves feel better about the way they eat (most humans are insecure as fuck). I couldn’t give two fucks if you follow the paleo diet, Atkins diet, Vegan, Vegetarian, Keto or any other shit you can think of, if it works for you then awesome, doesn’t mean it will work for everyone! So play around with a few to see what fits for you.

There are some generic rules that apply to ALL humans and should become daily staples;

  • Consuming adequte amounts of water every day (hydrate or die).
  • Eating whole foods (if it has a food label it aint real food).
  • Not over consuming at meals (case of too much of a good thing).

No matter the “diet” you choose to abide by, you cant go wrong if you keep these basics in mind!

Ash Yates