Why Most Science Is Dog Shit!


Ouch! I can hear the “white coats” screaming at me and smashing their bunson burners all over the lab in disgust.

It seems that every time I scroll through a social media feed lately there is a new “ground breaking” study that proves that what we previously thought was all a damn lie! The problem is we have been conditioned over time to accept the word of any dickhead in a white lab coat! What is not very well-known or, talked about, is where these cheese dicks get their funding to conduct such studies.

When you are the CEO of a multi billion dollar company that is witnessing a decline in sales, what better way to improve public perception of your horse shit product than to fund a study that WILL show the product actually contains traces of magical compounds from the surface of mars that will allow you to live until you are 208 years of age! But don’t fear, lucky the esteemed science world have “Morales” and agree to “prove” the study in favor of industry if they are allowed to then receive more funding in the future to conduct actual “science” studies that will improve humans!

Don’t even get me started on the roll Government play in ensuring “junk” science is produced and circulated to improve political standing. I am not stupid, and understand that these labs need funding to operate, and yes, there have been some great discoveries from our white coat friends, unfortunately, the amount of “breakthroughs” pales in comparison compared to the latest study that indicates it may be beneficial for expecting mothers to consume alcohol during pregnancy! Come on man, really?

Anyway, my point is common sense far outweighs the findings of most cutting edge research. I don’t give a fuck how many studies tell me being addicted to heroin is good for me, if my gut tells me its rubbish that is good enough for me to ignore the shit out of it. It would be a very wise approach to take “most” science with a grain of salt, they seem to have a knack for complicating the absolute shit out of the most simplistic subject matter, but I guess at the end of the day if people don’t understand it they just accept what is being said by the “guru” right?

My advice would be to laugh at most of it, and ignore the rest, let’s be honest, the human race has survived and adapted fairly well over the journey! Sure, life expectancy over time has certainly increased, however our living conditions have also been improved dramatically! I can sit in a climate controlled dwelling with immediate access to food and water, and not live in fear that a T-Rex will smash through the window and devour me!

That’s my take on the current state of affairs for what it is worth? Of course if you want to chase your tail for the next decade feel free listen to the studies, if you would prefer to actually make progress employ common sense on a daily basis.

Ash Yates

Guys – Ditch The Midlife “Mud” Guts!


This subject is by far my greatest passion when it comes to wanting to help people. There are more than enough scantily clad female intsa models selling “booty building” programs to women, but there are very few that have an interest in helping solve the biggest problem we see, and that is unhealthy and severely out of shape middle-aged men.

For a start, the statistics in Australia for males is an absolute fucking disgrace! They say that over 70% (80% for 45 year olds and over) are overweight or obese! When I walk around the shops, or go anywhere there is a large gathering, I’m actually surprised that number isn’t higher, because it seems that everywhere I look there are fat slobs all over the place.

That’s right, I called them “fat slobs”! The time for political correctness has well and truly passed. We need to get real and call it what it is, people are fucking dying prematurely from illness and disease that stem from being overweight! Being fat is officially the exact reason cardio vascular disease now sits at the top as the number one cause of death in Australia! Make no mistake, I consider this to be a form of suicide. Killing yourself slowly over the course of decades through dog shit dietary choices and non-existent exercise needs to fucking stop, and needs to stop now!

Being sick and fat is no badge of honor and needs to stop being treated as such. All I see is lazy, Ill disciplined wreaks that hide behind excuse after excuse as to why they look and feel like utter rubbish! Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself is going to do jack shit, so if you really want to do something about the situation you have created then listen up because these simple as fuck tips might just be the kick-start needed to pull your head in;

  1. DRINK FUCKING WATER I bet my left fucking nut that you are not drinking anywhere near enough water on a daily basis to come even close to being hydrated! Considering water makes up 83% of your blood, 75% of your muscles and 75% of your brain I would think it should be of the highest priority DAILY to ensure you drink a fuck load of water. Notice I said water! Not fucking soda, not beer, not iced coffee, FUCKING WATER!
  2. EAT MORE FIBER – The mere fact that you are lugging around more than ideal body fat would suggest that you are not exactly snacking on fruit and green salads? For starters, it will satiate you longer which will help divert you from those calorie dense refined alternatives. How many people do you know that sit there and eat 2 apples back to back compared to 2 donuts back to back? One medium-sized apple packs about 80-90 calories, while your filthy donuts are easily 200 plus EACH. You don’t need to be a fucking professor of mathematics to work out what the better option is!
  3.  GET MOVING – I’m not suggesting jumping out of bed and running a fucking marathon tomorrow, but a simple 20-30min brisk walk is certainly a way better option then laying there hitting the snooze button 8 fucking times! For those poor fuckers that are enslaved to a desk all day this is super important. That sore knee and sore back you use as the excuse not to move are the direct result of NOT moving enough! I fucking hate telling people to track their steps because it sounds fucking ridiculous, but, if you sit in an office all day aiming to achieve a bare minimum of 10,000 steps per day is a good place to start? At least there is something there to hold you accountable.

I can’t emphasize how basic this shit is, it’s crap that we learn in primary school physical education for fuck sake, yet it is mind-blowing the amount of people who can’t even muster up the discipline to incorporate this shit into their daily routine! I know we have fostered an environment where its hip and cool to love unicorns and accept everybody just the way they are, but that soft shit is not saving lives, it is only enabling the weak to go on suffering a miserable existence!

I’m here to help people, not make fucking friends. I like my own company so you are shit out of luck! Hate my guts for all I give a shit, just do what the fuck I am telling you to improve your situation!

So, my challenge to you if you fit this profile is to knuckle down on those 3 simple tips for the next 4 weeks starting TODAY not fucking tomorrow and start cementing some better habits in your life!

“The difference between fat and lean is choice, so start making better fucking choices”

~ Ash Yates

Motivation – You Are Going To Die!


YES, that is all the motivation any human being should ever need to propel them towards what it is they want to achieve. We all know no one makes it out alive, but what we can control is the quality of life we get to experience while still above ground.

Unfortunately, we have created such a rainbows and unicorns society that no one can take advice or criticism without feeling like it is a personal attack. This in turn has also created a “victim” mentality, where no one wants to be accountable for their own actions. Blaming others for your shit state of health is a cop-out at best, and unless you have been tied down and force feed for years the buck ultimately stops with you.

Yes I know, those evil fast food outlets are everywhere, they are convenient, cheap and taste sooo good right? But they are not kicking your door down 3 times a day and shoveling their product down your throat at gun point!

I have absolutely no problem (when asked) telling people they are overweight. As far as I am concerned, by not saying it, I am facilitating their distorted take on reality. A big dose of reality is exactly what is needed to ignite that fire to take action. Every day you delay the start point, the harder it will become.

As with any change, it is a process and will take time. The secret lies in learning to enjoy the day-to-day journey, and not become fixated on the result.

“I lack motivation” is what the lazy use to justify their laziness. YOU LACK BASIC DISCIPLINE! You are essentially saying to yourself, “I’m sorry body, but I disrespect you so much that I want you to suffer through an agonizing existence”.

If you think you lack motivation, I strongly suggest you pay a visit to those lying in a hospital bed right now who also “lacked motivation” and are now full of regret that they allowed disease and illness to ravage their body because they simply couldn’t be fucked.

You are going to hurt either way, you either have the pain of discipline, or the pain of regret! Now, it is up to you which you choose, but know this, you, and only you, have the power to decide which pain it is you endure. Choose wisely.

I am lucky enough to draw on my unique life experience where it was always a case of you just ‘shut the fuck up and get shit done’ type of environment. Regardless of what situation you find yourself in, mindset can be changed over time with repeated bouts of ACTION!

Doing, will ALWAYS trump thinking about it! So that day you can’t be fucked is the EXACT day you should eat cleaner then ever and haul your ass to the gym! Because each little win like that sets a precedent and lays the foundation for positive action taking in the future.

It has been said in the past that I lack compassion; this is not the case at all (well maybe a little). I lack patience and empathy for those that are not willing to help themselves. You must be able to display a willingness to hold up your side of the bargain before expecting anyone to give up their time and energy to help you.

Start forming habit’s TODAY that will aid in improving and, ultimately extending your life! Only you can do the work required to make the change you desire. So get off your ass and make that start right now!

Ash Yates

Blood – Is It Trying To Tell Us Something?


What is it that makes us unique? Why do we see people undertake the same nutrition/exercise protocols but see vastly different results?

I would easily read anywhere from 10-20 books per year pertaining to health and fitness. One in particular, I first read about a decade ago would eventually end up blowing my fucking mind just recently. The book I refer too is called “Eat Right For Your Blood Type” by Dr Peter J. D’Adamo.

Without reciting the entire fucking thing, his point is food has different interactions with  different blood types having either positive or negative effects on the bodies overall ability to function properly. He goes on to explain how the blood types have adapted through the evolution of the human race and is of the belief that our blood holds the “master-key” when it comes to optimizing human health.

For example, blood type O is the oldest, and thrived in the paleolithic times when man was a hunter gather and a well adapted meat-eater. So, it is recommended that those with blood type O consume lean meats (organic) and vegetables, makes sense right? Type A, made an appearance in the neolithic period where man moved into a more structured way of living with farming practices that saw us start to cultivate our own food (grains, crops ect) instead of chasing it down. His recommendation is type A benefits from a vegetarian diet, as the type A doesn’t posses the amount of stomach acid (in fact 3 times less) that the type O does, so they are ill-equipped to break down meat as efficiently.

Enter my “fucking hell” moment! Whilst on a long haul flight I made the decision to commit to a vegan diet (may have had too many red wines?) for a period of time to see what all the fuss was about.

I want to point out that I am type A. Over the next 2-3 months I went from 93kg down to 84kg, for the past 11 years I had struggled to get below 90kg regardless of upping the training load and intensity. I had more energy and was sleeping better than ever before. The weird thing was I was training less than previous years (due to hectic life schedule) but the fat just kept melting off my frame? At my regular 3 monthly health check my GP was concerned that I may have some kind of underlying health issue due to the rapid weight-loss I had experienced. He had me shitting bricks thinking there was something wrong, until my blood work and all other tests came back the best they had been in years!

Thinking back to the book I had read 10 years earlier but refused to acknowledge because there was no way in fuck I was going to become a vegetarian to improve my health. My opinion has certainly changed after seeing how my body has reacted. What an absolute dick head I was for not having a crack at it a decade earlier! I guess it’s better late than never hey?

Eat right for your blood type has been great for me, and after re-reading it last month It makes a hell of a lot of sense. If you are struggling it may help you so, might be well worth a read?

Maybe it doesn’t work as well for you, who the fuck knows? But this I do know for damn sure, IF YOU CONTINUE TO DO THE SAME THING YOU HAVE BEEN DOING, YOU WILL CONTINUE TO GET THE SAME RESULTS YOU HAVE BEEN GETTING!

As a side note I have absolutely no allegiance too, or vested interest in anything to do with this book or the Author! This is clearly a reflection of my experiences using his methods.

Ash Yates

Nutrition Label Nightmare


Ever had anyone shove a packet in your face and ask “is this good for me?”. People standing in the supermarket isle fixated on the “nutrition” label has become a regular site in the past 5-10 years.

It’s great that people are genuinely concerned about what it is they are putting in their bodies, but in my opinion it is the biggest hoax of our lifetime! For a start you will never actually know what the fuck is in it anyway? There is something like 20-30 (don’t quote me) different compound names for sugar alone! If you take a step back and take a look at the big picture, the ONLY “food” that has a nutrition label on it ISN’T ACTUALLY FUCKING FOOD!

Last time I went to buy a bunch of bananas I don’t recall seeing a label on it? The last time I was at the organic butcher buying meat for the family I don’t recall seeing a label on it? You get the picture.

REAL food, the shit we are designed to eat, will never have a fucking label on it because it has NOT been altered by scumbags in a lab trying to kill us!

At the request of the powerful food industry those nerdy little food scientist fucks have been formulating all sorts of harmful compounds over the years to add to fake food to try to make it more palatable for human consumption!

When an item is shoved in my face to analyse its nutritional make up it is always followed by “Ash, is this good for me?”. My response is “compared to what?”, if you are comparing that packet of bite sized poison to eating a bit of your lounge room carpet well, then yeah, it probably is slightly better for you! If you are comparing it to an apple and a hand full of nuts and seeds well then FUCK NO it is not good for you!

Simply put, the best way to read a food label is to pick it up off the shelf, adopt a stance similar to that of a baseball pitcher, and proceed to throw that mother fucker as far as you possibly can! Trust me, you do not need that shit in your life.

If all you do is follow the very basic rule of only eat foods that don’t have a “food” label on it you are well on your way to better health. Be very skeptical of anyone trying to explain the label to you because clearly their brain has already been turned to a pile of  steaming hot shit from big industry propaganda.

Now, I am very aware that a lot of our “fresh” food is tainted by the use of commercial chemicals like pesticides/herbicides on fruits and vegetables and hormones and antibiotics in our meat. This is a real concern that needs to be addressed no doubt! But, compared to the toxic junk these fuckers are putting in fake food I am convinced that the “fresh” option is by far the lesser of two evils!

Of course, to avoid all of these problems the ideal approach is to shop organic where possible to avoid all chemicals, but I am a realist and understand that it can end up being more expensive going this route than the commercial alternatives.

Do what you can, where you can for your circumstances, and remember if a “good” option doesn’t exist at the time you are looking for something to eat well then don’t be scared to hold out until you find a better option! Its OK, the body can go a few hours without food, waiting a little bit longer, for something a little bet better, will serve you and your health very well.

Ash Yates

My 4,420 Week Program!


Shit, after reading that title I am going to be pushing shit up hill selling this one to the masses.

The statistics tell us that the modern 8/12 week junk programs have a whopping 99% long-term failure rate! Why this is so surprising to everyone stuns the fuck out of me? The mere notion of something having an end date is ultimately going to fail!

These fitness thieves that are stealing people’s money and hopes pushing short-term garbage shits me to tears. I can see why people get sucked in though, the promise of a life change in just 2 months is enticing for anyone, let alone someone who has self-esteem and motivation issues.

Sure, going from basically nothing, to doing something for a few weeks will reap some sort of result, the problem is the accompanying “food plans” are usually generic as fuck, highly restrictive, and honestly as boring as the personality selling it. Of course, post program this cannot be maintained, and you will slip straight back into the previous bad habits. No matter how disciplined or bad ass you think you are, no one can live such a suffocating existence without cracking at some point!

Enter my ground breaking 4,420 week program. It’s only 85 years of doing something everyday, FUCK ALL TO IT! Health, fitness, and wellness should never have an “end date” approach. It takes an effort EVERY SINGLE DAY of your life to gain or maintain health. I know right, how fucking boring and un-sexy is that shit!

However, don’t mistake this for not having short-term goals. Saying you will get to where you want to be in 85 years is fucking depressing and unappealing as shit! Have short-term goals, once you hit it set a new one and keep rolling. It is a case of continuously moving the goal posts, our brain is better designed to focus on, and want the short-term reward. Then, eventually you look back after years of chasing short term goals and surprise surprise they have manifested into long-term success!

Is it going to be a roller-coaster ride of up’s, downs and loopy loops? Abso-fucking-lutley! Anyone who says they are going to stay staunch and not veer off the path is a complete and utter fucking liar! The key is to limit the amount of time you are off track to avoid any real “damage”. I have a rule that 3 days is the maximum I go without doing anything, no matter how I feel on that 4th day I have to do something otherwise I just keep delaying and delaying, and those 3 days quickly turn into 3 weeks!

CrossFit has exploded on a global scale in recent times and I believe that has a lot to do with its daily approach to training. The daily workout has its participants moving a hell of a lot more than other training systems, but I think the secret sauce for them is the “community” they foster, it holds people accountable to others! The barrage of text messages an individual is sent from fellow CrossFitters for skipping a class ensures you don’t do it too often.

Results are merely a manifestation of consistency, so show up day in and day out for the next 40, 50, 60, 70 plus years and tell me you didn’t get results!

Ash Yates

Balance – The Goal Killer


My aim is to try to keep this one short because I can feel my blood pressure starting to rise thinking about it.

What you are about to read applies to all facets of life.

F.O.M.O, other wise known as “fear of missing out”, has infiltrated deep into the modern human psyche. Clearly, the emergence and subsequent dominance of social media has played a huge role in making us feel like we are somehow always missing out on something.

Scrolling through your feed and seeing your friends holidaying and partying while you are stuck in the office pulling 13 hour days is obviously going to wreak havoc with your priorities and focus. I believe this has created the buzz around everyone sprouting the throw away cliché line “I need balance”.

Before you have an aneurysm and start yelling at your computer calling me a dickhead for thinking you can’t live without balance, let me explain a few things that I have encountered and learned over the years.

Balance to me means no specific goals or desire to achieve a higher result! As an example – I have had numerous individuals over the years seeking my advice on how to achieve a certain goal. The fucking second I start to lay down my plan for their specific circumstances they go to complete shut down mode and start spitting shit like “fuck that, I need balance in my life!”. Cool, I’m fucking more than happy for people to have “balance” and do mediocre shit, who the fuck am I to tell you how to live? But, when I am asked for my advice and opinion I will give it to you straight.

See, a certain fucked up little phenomenon has reared its ugly head called “I want shit for nothing”. Well, if it worked that way we would all be multi millionaires, running around jacked as fuck at about 3% body fat, without a worry in the world. Luckily there is a place that does exist for the delusional fucks out there, its called DISNEYLAND! Its a magical place where all your dreams come true and you get to skip around holding hands with mickey mouse!

Look, there are people who are content with doing a lot of things half ass, and I applaud them because they don’t whinge and bitch about where that are at, AWESOME. It’s the fuck bags that do fuck all, and still have the hide to whinge and bitch that nothing has happened for them? Wake the fuck up! You want that chiseled physique? haul your ass in the gym EVERY DAY and watch what you eat, you want to have more money than you know what to do with? well then get the fuck out there and work your ass off to generate it.

It staggers the shit out of me that you have to actually remind people of this? I’m not trying to pull some Tony Robbins shit here, BUT, FUCKING HELL! Sacrifice is inevitable if you want to attain a certain goal, there is no way around it, under it or over it.

If you are happy and whinge free in your life right now well good on you, I am honestly happy as shit for you! If you are not, then you need to get tunnel vision on what it is you want, and start culling the time-wasting background shit!

I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes that I have used more times than I can remember.

“Don’t be disappointed by the results you didn’t get, from the work you didn’t put in” 

– unkown 

Ash Yates